Within a half hour my polite comment was removed.

Unfortunately it seems as though society believes we are lepers, even if we know there is more of us than not.

the right call is to acknowledge the loss, not ignore it.

Wow I posted on there fb page and they deleted my comment shame on them this breaks my heart

Thank you for sharing this horrible story by Good Housekeeping. I commented on their facebook page and I intend to write to the editor as well.
~Lisa W. Brown, www.october15th.com Co-founder of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I suggest that we all call them and put it in writing...then that we consider a petition to 'take it back' and tell them how the question should have been answered.
I left these comments. We'll see if they stay up or not. Doesn't sound promising given how many of you responded and then your posts were taken down.
I'd like to comment on your recent question about what colleagues should say to someone who has a miscarriage. As a mother who has had two miscarriages (named Marama and Bryna) and a stillborn son (named Brennan), and an international speaker and author on this subject for 30 years...I am, and our baby loss community is, very disappointed by your advice to 'say nothing' unless the person is your friend.
What would you say to a work colleague after the death of their 4 year old? Hopefully, something like, "I am sorry to hear about your loss. If you wish to talk sometime, I'd be a good listener." Or even just that you are sorry. To say NOTHING makes it worse for most people. It seems that you don't care about our tragedy. Parents who view their miscarriage as a baby (studies say about 75% do), may be distressed and hurt or may say it is the worst thing to happen to them. One thing they all seem to feel is 'alone.' A 'No response' from colleagues and friends adds to that isolation and lonely feelings. Please read some of the literature (there are tons of good books and articles and research) and then please give a "DO over" on this important life question. Thank you!
Sherokee Ilse, mother, parent advocate, author of Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death.

I received the identical response today.
I think they might have sent out a lot of "apology" e-mails.

This has left me extremely upset. I lost my beautiful baby boy at 27minutes old after I was induced being list two weeks overdue. This happened on 25th november 2011. My world has fallen apart and what has kept me going are my friends and family. Sadly quite a few of my 'friends' have avoided me, crossing the street to avoid talking to me! As if losing my child was not hard enough, but to be treated as if I should be avoided! That is the most hurtful thing a person can do. Whoever thought that was an acceptable response in this 'pop quiz' should be ashamed.

Dear grieving parents:

I sent the below letter to Good Housekeeping Magazine today. I do hope they publish a retraction of this "advice." My husband and I endured eight first trimester miscarriages, but I have given over a good part of my life trying to help others in honor of those babies we lost.

Perry-Lynn

From: Perry-Lynn Moffitt <pl.moffitt@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 12, 2012 at 9:03 PM
Subject: Letter to the Editor
To: ghletters@goodhousekeeping.com


Dear Good Housekeeping Editor:

In your current issue (February 2012), you have a segment on page 108 called “Good Advice: Ask Peggy” in which Peggy Post offers some very unfortunate advice. In “Pop Quiz” a question is posed about how to deal with a colleague’s miscarriage. Peggy suggests that the correct response is to: “Say nothing; some things are private.”

Peggy couldn’t be more wrong. When my co-author and I wrote our book, A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss (Routledge, 2000), we polled many of the parents we interviewed for the five worst comments people made following any pregnancy loss, including miscarriage. The majority of the parents said that when people, especially colleagues who knew about their loss, said nothing, this was one of the most hurtful responses they experienced. Saying nothing negates the loss and the impact it has on the parents’ lives. It also ignores their need to grieve.

I have been a lay bereavement counselor with the Pregnancy Loss Support Program of the National Council of Jewish Women, NY Section, for over 27 years, and we encourage our clients to alert their bosses following a loss, so the parents’ immediate co-workers know the basic circumstances. This enables colleagues to be patient with a mother or father’s grief. We also provide some simple statements which can be expressed in a note or verbally when either of the parents returns to work. “I’m so sorry about your loss,” is a suggestion our clients have found supportive and validating. Once parents realize that their co-workers know and care about the loss, they can honestly respond with as little or as much information as they are comfortable sharing.

I hope you issue a thorough apology to all the grieving parents who read your magazine. Over 900,000 spontaneous pregnancy losses occur in the United States alone each year. These parents deserve support from compassionate colleagues, not stony silence, which implies that nothing has happened.

Sincerely,

Perry-Lynn Moffitt

Ms. Perry-Lynn Moffitt
111 Hicks Street #23-A
Brooklyn, NY 11201-1685

917-715-4558
pl.moffitt@gmail.com

As a mother of 7 angels lost from 8 weeks of pregnancy to a stillborn baby boy... I find this both enraging and incredibly disappointing.

If you care to, I just posted a note on Good Housekeeping Facebook page and I think it would be wonderful if some, many or all of you replied - whether you agree with me or not, I just think it needs to be further acknowledged.

Thank you.